New Big School Life ... On your own darling

Oi Mithai,

This is you now. Beautiful, smart, weird in your own ways ... you are growing up to be an awesome person with a uniqueness that I am very proud of ... we all are ... 

You're as moody as a 4 year old is I guess, sometimes that gets to me, but hey, what's parenting if you don't have to deal with some of these. 

You really like to be a princess. A regular day with your request to dress up as a princess and your mamma always indulges. An example is right here ... 

Anyways, the reason for the new post after so long ... a new phase of your life started a couple of weeks ago ... you are now in Junior KG ... in your new school. You have liked this school since Vihaan started going there, and we went to the pool for a couple of swims. This is where you always wanted to go ... we too liked the school for different reasons. That's a story for another time. 

I am very proud of how awesome you were about school ... right from day one. This is when you grew up a little more at one shot. Let me tell you why ...

So far, we have held your hand all the way to school and let it go only about 10 ft from your classroom. You have been in the warm comfort zone of your life, your parents' and thammu's arms ... almost all the steps we've been there. You yourself have always been very cautious and safety minded and would get very hassled when you didn't see us around. Especially when it involved going somewhere.

But for school you had to be picked up by what you like to call "School cab", about 30 minutes before school and be dropped outside school where you had to walk in about 200 tiny steps and a couple of flights of stairs to your classroom ... Junior KG (G). You hadn't done such a long journey in a new place by yourself ever before. We knew that, and you did too. I was a little worried, but I knew if you didn't get scared, you were witty enough to make your way through to your class... your mamma knew that too ... but she was kinda worried till you got back home.

Anyways, the first day we wanted to go see how things were, so we followed your cab to school and saw you get off. You were the first one to be helped down from the cab, and as soon as you got down you turned around and grabbed hold of Lakshmi's hand. Lakshmi is from our apartment building and was in Sr KG, and knew her way around. You and her held hands and walked towards school. Your mamma and I showed ourselves to you to give you confidence, but you were focused on getting this right so you didn't pay much attention. In your eyes I saw the fear of the unknown and the determination to conquer it ... you knew you were on your own and had figured out the resources at your disposal.

I was heart-broken to see you having to fend for yourself, with a thumping heart that I could feel from far away because I know you. I could almost mirror all the emotions you were going through, in my mind. But then this is one of the many times we have to let you fend for yourself, to help you be self-reliant and ready for the world.

At the same time I was proud of you that you chose to brave through all these, as you were looking forward to school, and you wouldn't let a little fear stand in the way.

On the way back, we went to see how you get picked up from school by the cab guys and how the school coordinates that. We saw you sitting with your class. When you saw me, you thought the day's fending-for-yourself was over, and wanted to come to me. But since the cab was supposed to pick you up, I had to ask you to be where you were. You didn't protest, and went back to where you were. It made me sad, but I didn't want to set wrong expectations. I knelt down and asked you how the day was, and you introduced me to a few friends. You saw mamma and managed to still stay at your place. Then the cab people came and picked you up.

On the way back, you had your friend from your old school ... Addu ... you both were very excited to see each other. When I saw you guys together, I realized you will be fine ... not because Addu was there, but you have figured out what fun school buses can be with friends.

That's what school is ... a place to explore all the avenues, have fun, create memories and make a good human being out of yourself.

School will be a lot of things, not everything will be nice, but all of it put together will give you wonderful memories, hopefully the kind that you don't get tired of talking about. Just like we do ... of our school days.

All the best Mithai (your favorite name from me so far) ... experience life with an open heart and mind. Take chances, learn new things, have fun ... if things go wrong, they will be temporary, and most importantly, we'll be there to help.

So go be awesome.

Love
Baba

P.S. I clicked some photos from your first day at VIBGYOR ... they are happy and vibrant ... that's exactly how you'd like to remember the first day at school ... isn't it?

School ...

You've been going to school for just over a month ... I waited this long to post about it because, the initial days were a lot of tears and very stressful ... and not really much to report other than that. But in a month's time much has got better ... so let's recap real quick :)

So here's the first day to school ... This day I was allowed to get in and stay with you, so you get used to the school ... the day went fine. While you played in the playground, you always had an eye fixed on me, to ensure I didn't go off your sight.

Now from the second day it was the moment of truth for you ... spending some time without Mamma, Baba or Thammu ... although it was just half an hour, you cried your heart out ... I was waiting outside school to be there when you come out, and heard you crying ... although it was a combined wailing from your entire class, I could hear you separately from time to time ... it is heart-breaking. But what are you gonna do? It is a part of my job description as Baba to get you used to school.

The next photo is from the first Wednesday, ... your first day of wearing a school uniform. While you still cried in school, you loved the uniform ... and these photos are just after you got back from school. does it look like you didn't like school?

Another week down the line, the time at school increased to 2 hours and while I see videos and photos of you playing in school, from your teachers, you still claim that you cried in school. That seems to be the only thing you 'd like us yo think. Manipulative eh?

Anyways, you're getting settled in and you come back with many new rhymes and songs that you've learnt. Looks like you are loving it.

Here are a few photos from our little photo shoot at home.

Meanwhile we have moved to a new house after 6 years. You love this new home and want to keep coming back home from wherever we go to. The best part is... this new place is just a two minutes walk from school.

New phase in life ... Congratulations darling. So much more to look forward to.

Love 

Baba

Long Gap ...

Hello Mithai ... 

It took me a while to decide what I want t call you in this post ... there are so many characters you are these days, that we are completely confused ... and that's the beauty of it ... when I posted last I could still define you my way ... and now that you talk non-stop and have a personality of your own ... it is impossible to define you ... I thought we'll get there in a few more years ... but you are growing fast.

Let's try a walk down the memory lane ... but before that, let's get a picture of you in here ... this is how you look now, and this one is you in your first own saree that Thithi has bought you. Oh you like dressing up and accessorizing ... so far everyone is gaga about it ... let's see how this part turns out :)

Let's start after your first birthday ... 

By now you can pull yourself up and stand ... you crawl up to the headboard of the bed and pull yourself up and look out of the window and giggle when a train passes by. You are able to make some basic sounds to show joy, displeasure, and we kind of get it :)

You and I take a walk outside in the evening ... we don't go far, but we like sitting outside near our parking after the walk and watch the world go by ... you like sitting on the pillar that holds the parking gates. 

You already like Thammu's iPad ... you know what you like in it and are able to tell us, not in so many words, but with your reactions ... what you are enjoying and what you are getting bored with. Thammu on the other hand has started building a repository of videos of nursery rhymes, songs, music etc that you might like ... she is quite good with YouTube and stuff. Just so you know, among people her age, she is one in a million ... very very few senior citizens of this time are able to use, let alone enjoy the internet and what it has to offer. You should be proud to be her granddaughter ... I am extremely proud as a son.

You have reached up to the Microwave's main buttons and you and Vihaan have started damaging it ... now (actually by early 2013, we couldn't use most of the options in it anymore).

In Feb 2013, we made a trip to Kolkata, your birthplace and mine. Everyone was overjoyed to see you .. although you took some time to get used to the attention. You have stranger anxiety and don't like it when people pick you up. Very finicky I should say ... people tip-toe around you :) But once you get to know people, you don't hesitate to show the antics you have learnt ... showing your eyes, nose etc.

In our home, you have found out that you love the balcony, and every chance you get you want to crawl up there and look at the river ... You can say one syllable words ... so you scream out "Boat" when you see boats and at night when the other bank lights up ... you just love it ... and you have a prolonged pronunciation of the word "Lights" for it ... it's more like "laaaaights!!!". Kolkata is usually full of little sticky kind of dirt ... and you come back from the balcony with a lot of it on your palms, knees, legs, face ... another adorable scene. You left everyone wanting more of you when we had to come back to Bangalore.

Oh but if I write like this, we will have ourselves a very long post and you might say "tl/dr" (Meaning Too long Didnt read ... in new internet lingo) so let's hop on ...

In just over a little more than a year, you have learnt to walk, talk, learn new things, teach us new things and the list goes on ...

You have learnt new rhymes from Thammu, and repeat them incessantly if you please, but when asked it is just your mood that dictates ... you are quite a tough customer. Don't worry, we have videos, right now there are so many, that I am finding it extremely difficult to sort and catalog them. But I will get there by the time you read this :)

You and I have started doing selfies and you love making faces to the camera when you can see yourself in it ...

We sometimes go to a park ... you just like walking around ... we tried the slide ... you liked it initially, but didn't like falling from it ... so that was gone sooner than I thought ... but it will be back ... We also tried the swing ... you loved it ... and then after some more visits to some more parks, you got confident and stopped holding the chains ... and gravity did the rest ... it was adorable ... but then swings took a break for some time.

You love bubbles ... and in your screaming in joy, sometimes swallow them ... but its relentless fun anyways ... we all just love it :)

You love going to the Hamley's store in Phoenix Market City ... so far you just love playing there ... and dont ask for us to buy you stuff. So far you are a good girl ...

You come to wake me up everyday saying "Baba Wake up Wake Up!!!". While I am usually still in need of some more sleep, I love waking up to it. From that moment on the next hour is for you and me ... I play with you a while, then arrange for your bath, then you have many routines during the bath and then we do fun stuff like pushing the fragrance device on the bathroom wall and saying "Palai Palai" to get out of the bathroom ... I had to invent these routines, to make it interesting for you to get out of the bathroom, else you'd just stay in there the whole day. You just love water.

You love coming to the desktop, where you see me work and grab the mouse (not sure if these devices are still around now) and move it randomly ... when asked what you are doing ... You say "Kaaj" ... when asked who asked you to do this ... you say "Baba". Not sure where you got this from, but your answer doesn't change ... even when I ask you this the answer is the same.

The list goes on and on and on .... its just a wonderful experience ... sometimes I feel I don't want you to grow up ... but the very next moment I feel, with each day you keep getting smarter, funnier, weirder ... more and more a complete person with all your quirks ... I wouldn't want to miss it for the world by asking you to not grow up.

In this meantime Dulu-mama (who you still insist on calling Dulu) got married and you just love Moyu mami (Who is again Moyu to you) ... and love copying her fashion style ... you never used to like tying your hair or a clip in them, now looking at Moyu you not only like it ... you know which one will go with which dress. Quite a fashionista you are. You have also started miming her ways of putting an eye-liner and lipstick ... sometimes you do that to me too.

Something terrible happened as well ... we lost your Koka to a heart failure ... one Sunday, we were woken up to the news that he has had a heart failure and is in the ICU ... and then we got confusing news and weren't sure what was happening ... it was imperative that we just needed to go there. When we landed in Guwahati, I got a call from your Jitu Mama (again Jitu for you) that Koka is no more ... and I was told not to say anything to your Mom or Dulu. I thought of explaining the situation to them to prepare them for the bad news ... but just couldn't get myself to do that as they were so full of hope that something will turn around. That journey from Guwahati to Shillong was the longest journey of my life ... seemed endless. We all felt so helpless ... it just happened and all of a sudden he was no more ... just makes one realize the unpredictability of life and why we should appreciate every relationship so much more and make the best use of every moment ... I still feel guilty that I hadn't spoken to him in two weeks before that day ... and now I cannot speak to him forever. There was so much to like in the man ... I have never seen a calmer and nicer man. He is the prime reason your Mom is the wonderful person she is. I just wish you had some more time with him. But anyways, hopefully we will be able to do a reasonably okay job in imbibing the good from both your absent grandfathers ... as there was a lot to learn from them.

Anyways, this post is getting long and now depressing ... so I will try and end it in a nicer note ... the recent weeks (especially weekends) have been important ones ... in one we paid the first installment of your play-school fees, and also got your ears pierced ... oh we were so dreading that day. But it went on pretty smoothly ... you cried a bit, but started calming down the moment I took a photo and showed you how pretty you looked. Now you have round ear-rings that are called "Balis" and not entirely without a few incidents. Oh ...  you look so grown up with these ear-rings.

The other major thing that started for the last 3-4 weekends, is we go swimming, your Mamma gets into the pool sometimes as well. We have a pretty pink tube for you ... this gives you so much more independence ... you just love floating around and splashing water ... you havent got the hang of swimming yet ... but I am in no hurry ...  I want you to first love the water, get comfortable with it and then we will start learning ... meanwhile ... we just have fun!!! Here's a photo

... until next time ...

Baba :)

Happy Birthday Princess!!!!

Hello Guddipoka,

You are almost a little over 13 and a half months now ... and this post is long due as i planned it for your birthday ... November 7th ... Yeah your age can now be said using the word "year" ... that's in some ways the most important milestone in one's life. The best part is ... you are so nonchalant about it.

I made something for your 1st year ... you may have seen the actual thing a few times by now already, but here's the video I shared with people to let them know you have now turned one.

The year of many firsts - Her first year in the world - in snapshots! - YouTube


What's different now that you are a year old? Let's see:

You can now drink cow's milk ... you don't like it much ... definitely not in a bottle ... maybe with chapatis soaked in it. You are quite a tough customer about drinking milk ... you just have it from your mom ... and nothing else.

We dont need to sterilize your utensils anymore ... you are more immune and less fragile ... and this exposure to lack of sterilization (or more germs, however you wish to look at it) is an attempt to increase your natural immunity. So we expect you to fall sick a little more often now ... but you are doing okay so far. Just some cough and cold ... and that's pretty much it.

You can stand on your own, but for some reason (I think it is because you have your mother's genes ;)) you are extremely cautious and as soon as we make you stand on your own, you just sit down and don't risk walking. Some might say you should walk by now ... but your mom and I are in no hurry for any of the milestones ... we believe everyone does it in their own time.

Here's a cute video of you standing ...

You crawl very fast and we find it pretty difficult to keep you from vandalizing the kitchen. Yeah! you do that a lot. Here's proof:

And you still dont have teeth ... following your mom's footsteps ... she got her first tooth when she was 15 months old ... beat that!!!

The most amazing thing is ... you have started kissing :) You kissed me first on a day when we went out shopping ... then you kissed me a few more times before you kissed your mom ... I was so happy about this :) and was making your mom jealous. But then one fine day you started to find "not kissing me" funny ... and you now only kiss your mom. :(

Now that you know what you are like around your first birthday ... let's see how your first birthday went.

To be honest we kept it pretty personal (as I like birthdays to be) ... you had Bordidi (My grand-mom and your Thammu's mom) visiting us ... her being 85 years old and having her birthday on the 10th of November, just 3 days away from yours, made her automatically the most important invitee for your birthday :)

We put up some balloons and streamers around the house ... it looked pretty colorful ... and you looked around in amazement ... got a little startled at the sound of bursting balloons but didn't cry .... overall you were more confused than amused with all of this to start with.

When we took you for your 6 month ceremony (to introduce you to regular food - namely "Rice") you hated the crowd and you still dont like a lot of strangers around you ... you have quite a drama routine when you see strangers ... includes profuse crying, and complete refusal to go to them, even when we say its okay ... quite embarrassing for us sometimes (in a nice way) .... but more than anything it is amusing. Every child has a phase of social anxiety ... yours is now ... so its all good :) So anyways ... we didn't invite anyone from outside the family. Who were here for your birthday? Bordidi, Chandradidi, Dangormama, Rezamama (came very late), Buamama (a surprise visit), Manisha Kaki, Vihaan and of course the four of us.

Your cake was my favorite flavor - Tiramisu, with a bumble bee on top ... that is because you love the song "I'm bringing home a baby bumble bee ... ".

And you loved your first taste of cake ....

I want all your birthdays to be special ... but in a way slightly different from what everyone else does on their birthdays. But we'll talk about it some other time. 

Love you 

Baba 

After a long pause ...

Hey Mithi Mamma ...

It has been a long time that I have been here ... actually with all the new things up in life, the routine has been a little ... well too routiney (I am sure that's not a word, but you dont say any words yet anyway ... so we're good :))
Here's a little description of how you are now ... let's start with how you look today after an extremey tantrum-filled (or so I hear from your mother) hair-cut

So that's how you look ... more mischievous than ever ... and of course I love it :)
You make a lot of noise these days, and now that you can move about a bit (yeah you finally started crawling ... after you started standing up with support ... talk about routine :)) ... you are quite lovely to watch, crawling about, picking up a couple of plastic toys that you like to throw around ... and sometimes chasing an unsuspecting ant or any spec of dust on the floor or sometimes heading towards to our shoes kept at the extreme end of the hall - your playground.

I dont know if this is the best time, as everyday seems to be wonderful ... we're loving how you are becoming a wonderful person who is learning about the world around her and forming her own opinions of stuff and people.
You recognize the fan when asked and more than us who are alive around you, you recognize Dadu in the photograph. I think that is amazing  :)

More in time ... Love you

Baba

What I come home to ...

Here is a picture of what I come home and see. This is just the most beautiful thing in the world . After a full day's work this is the most calming thing ... I can't imagine how lucky I am to share my life with the most beautiful people in the world .

Fathers' Day

Hey Mithi,

I call you "Gugush Pupush" these days ... doesn't mean anything ... or maybe it does ... I think it just expresses the feeling I get when I hug you and you stroke your nose and forehead on my shoulder or chest ... whatever it is ... its lovely to call you that ... and when you acknowledge it with a smile, it just becomes priceless.

I am enjoying every bit of being your father and secretly love the fact that the first syllables you have started blabbering are "Ba ba ba ba ...". However stupid it is, something wants me to believe that these are not meaningless random sounds that you find interesting to repeat throughout the day with a lot of zeal ... but that's you calling me "Baba". Now being the reason-based thinker I am (or claim to be), this shall remain in my closet till you or your mom reads this :-)

But this Fathers' Day, I wanted to share with you some of my memories of my father ... the man I called "Baba".

I selected this photo as this is the playful way he would have looked at you.

I don't know if I can ever convey to you how much he would have loved you and how much he was capable of loving, no words would really be able to explain his heart and his deep love for people he cared about. There is an expression in English "Loving someone to a fault" ... that was the only way he knew to love. The problem was ... he knew that and hence to prevent himself from committing that "fault" he would be extra harsh to the people he loved ... mostly to your Tham and me.

You can ask your Titlididi how and what she remembers of him ... as she is the one grand-daughter he could meet and play with before he missed you by less than a year. She used to call him Dolphin Dadu as he told her stories about the freshwater Dolphins that swim about and sometimes jump out of the water in the Ganga. The stories fascinated her so much that she started calling him Dolphin Dadu. She would be a teacher and he would be her student and would act stupid and slow and she would laugh at him and scold him for not understanding ... but he could spend hours with her and keep making her feel like the teacher she wanted to be without a single moment's miss.

Anyways it's Fathers' Day and I really wanted to write about him, but didn't want to post it anywhere, because if people read, they would probably praise me ... and I don't want that ... I just want to write about him because I miss him, especially because I cannot share my fatherhood with the man that taught me what a father should be like. Then I realized, I could write to you ... this can be our little secret.

You know I pride myself with my ability to observe and my thirst for knowledge ... and if I really look back, this whole concept of observation came from Baba.

He would show me the onset of winter by waking me up in the morning to see the fog outside.
He would make me watch movies and through the movie he would tell me what wowed him about a particular scene, and why. He would explain to me how the scene could have been made ... and I would be wowed too.
When I started learning music, I wasn't good with rhythm, and he made me do the beats alongside a Sarod recital by Ustaad Amjad Ali Khan for a full 90 minutes. That one day made me get Rhythm in my reflexes and I never got it wrong, as he promised. That's why I cherish the black blood clot on my thigh, and didnt have regrets.
He taught me swimming at the age of 2 and a half, in the Ganga without tubes and stuff ... and that's one thing I still do better than most although I was never athletic.
He showed me how to read a book and make excerpts and notes that made me learn and remember stuff, that made a wonderful ready-reckoner just before exams.
He would get us cousins together and when we asked him to tell stories, he would ask us to think of stories ... he would say here's what I am starting with. Now what do you think happened after this? And we would imagine the next bit of the story and we would create a story together and not even know.
I liked detective stories and didn't much care for the fairy tales ... and he had one ready whenever I asked for one. And he didn't lie to me when I asked - did you read this? He would always say - no I just made it up :-) And trust me no two stories would be similar.
He would always pose questions like "Where did we really come from?" "Is there a God?" etc and I would wonder and then read up and try to make up my opinion. He always had his opinion and didn't refrain from letting me know what it was ... but always allowed me to debate, and mostly argue with him. That made me research more.


I could go on for another 33 years (time that I had him for), but I would draw the line here. Through you I wish to tell him - "Baba, I love you ... I wish I told you this in words while you were alive ... I know you knew this and my biggest treasure would be that in your last conscious day you said "Shubho aamake shob theke beshi bhalobashe" ... I really did Baba ... Just never said that to you in person. I am sorry for that. I know it was hard for you to be the father you were, I know you made many sacrifices just for me, I know you worried about me ... a lot, I know you wanted me to be the best and have the best. I also know that I had the most wonderful father in the world, the father that I would like to be someday. I promise you I will try my best. Happy Fathers' Day  Baba! Miss you."

And Mamma to you I promise I would be that father you need, I wont be your ATM or your unconditional support (especially when you are wrong), but I will be there for you whenever you need me. I would have unconditional love for you ... always. I would worry about you, but I wont tie you down, if its something constructive you plan to pursue. I would be your encouragement, and your strength and hopefully your hero ... At least I will try my best.

I love you...

Baba

I wish to take you here ...

Hello Darling,

I know I have a huge backlog to clear in terms of telling you stuff ... the thing is from the time I got you to Bangalore, I was so engrossed in spending time with you that I just couldn't manage enough time to sit and type ... you are just that wonderful to be with ... and you dont even talk yet ... for the last couple of weeks you have started blabbering ... 2-syllable sounds ... and just that is so amazing, I can hear it all day ...

Anyways ... Here's something I wanted to share with you ...

This is a video of Iceland ... this is so beautiful that I thought whenever you grow up you should see this ... I would like to take you and your mom and my mom there ... but you know how life plays out at times ... so while I would try my best to be with you when you are there ... if by any chance this doesn't happen, you will get to this place and just enjoy the sheer beauty of nature ... of course if you like this video as much as I do :)

So here is the link:

Midnight Sun

Love
Baba

While you were away

Mithi Mamma,

The time I spent at home without you girls was very difficult for me ... I had just got you and was not able to hold you and kiss you and play with you  ... not to mention the fact that your Maa and I havent been apart for this long since we met ... Ya ya we are a mushy couple and I hope you grow up to be a reasonably good hopeless romantic... I think that's the best :)

Anyways back to when you were away ... so your Maa, being the sweetheart she always is, made the beginnings of some of those days special by sending me a little snap of you ... so here is a quick run down the memory lane of those days.

Ei je tor ghumonto smily mamma

Ei je tor Mithi mamma ghumocche

Tumar wrapped mamma

Finally sleeping with her hands down ;-)

Tor mamma-r eita ki posture janina

Traffic police

Yay! Papa is coming

Papa I am one month old

For a change

Good night papa

Papa tumar chanar tupi choto hoye gecche

Tupi fit hoye gecche

Tor eskimo mamma

Tor bunny mamma

Mithi wrap ;-)

Happy?

Yay!!!

Ei je tomar shabji mamma

Amader potla ta

Dekho tumar mamma

Merry christmas

Pillow sharing

Eita diye chalao for now

Tumar intellectu​al mamma

Papa tada tadi chole esho

So here we are ... you are home now ... I get to see you, hold you, kiss you and play with you everyday ... You know you caught my year today and Maa clicked a pic on her phone (just like these ones) and posted it on Facebook (not sure if its still around when you are reading this). And I loved it so much that I shared it on my profile too as a self goal so that my friends could make fun of me :) I am so loving it ...

Here is the pic:

This is just the beginning baby ... the fun for life is just warming up :) Just dont pin all your fun in pulling my ear ... okay sweetheart?!

Love you